I think Sungha really played my favourite song well.
Adele may be consdered an indie artist but in my opinion her fame equates her to a mainstream label. I love her music as I always feel a sense of connection with her lyrics, voice and tune. An amazing woman. I love this song. It just makes me feel like slitting my wrist and lying in a corner crying about my misfortune however little they may seem. Haha.
I am really what the papers labelled as unconcerned youths when it comes to politics. I guess the reason is that the country has been prospering and progressing in the last 10 years. If you asked me where I want to live in 10 years ago, I want to stay here. I want to stay in this country because it is really where I call home. I really don’t care much because I was way too young and completely satisfied with leaving the country run by capable men and women.
Not so much now. I do watch rallies and I do feel the rage for this year’s election. I start to care about politics. I guess when problems start to punch me in the face, I start to care. I really really hate how the country is run right now.
Transportation woes. – Lots of train disruptions in the recent years. Companies making a fortune out of the disruption? Shouldn’t they be ashame of causing inconvenience instead of of making opportunities out of everything. Bus drivers chose to take detours to avoid jams and got lost? (I appreciate the intention but if you can’t manage then don’t) I really pity the passengers who has a driver that don’t listen. Tuna packed cabins all the time regardless of peak or non peak hours. Now tell me why the increased transportation since they are able to stuff more people in same small space. Is this what transportation is in the first world country?
Rising cost of living – Over-promising and under-delivering. Prices are increasing why not paychecks?
Overpopulation. – This is a serious problem. Come on. Truth be told we really are small. You can’t possibly kept shipping people over here. The supply demand curve is seriously messed up. Don’t you notice the long queues everywhere? Shopping is a pain. The worst thing I’m feeling is that I feel like a minority living in my own country. I seriously want to see those data (so much for the transparency). How do you call a place home when you’re surrounded by strangers, hearing languages that you don’t even understand? Outcasts, aliens, culture shock in my “own” country.
Results – Over-competitiveness. Thousands of people competing for that few pathetic spots? You can count the number of universities with your fingers. You won’t need your toes for the next 20 years too. Education should be our priority. Places should be given to our people and funds to our people. That is what will make the youths stay. Perhaps an analogy will be good. Inviting your neighbour’s kids over for lunch is short term. They will soon go away because they have a home. Feed your own kids before you spent on others.
I don’t want to go on because I’m so pissed off. I will emigrate if I got the chance. Move away and start a new life. In any case, I will still be an alien. 
the world is madness. Everyone wants to be everyone else. Guys want to be girls and girls wanna turned into guys.
Beauty is really skin deep because once all those makeup is removed, everyone look like crap like everyone else. Everything on this planet is bollocks and people only notice superficial stuff.
I like it though. Living in this world makes smile. Heck. I’ll just do all the shit I want since this world is so complicated already.
one of the reason was because I can never understand people who can’t say no or who haven’t learn to say no. I don’t understand yes-man or in a more derogatory way crowd pleasers. Attending every single minute facebook events and doing things out of friend’s sake. Going all the way out because your “friend” asks you to.
Saying yes to everything and pleasing everyone else around you is not really the way to be. Don’t get me wrong, I mean once in a while we do try to please our family and mates but I don’t we think should do it all the time. We should know what we want and respect ourselves. Give ourself a break and really do what we love and heck the rest. If your “friends” do love you, they wouldn’t let you take all these burden. They wouldn’t leave you in awkward situations and then gossip behind your back.
Giving everyone time and leaving none to yourself. Suffering for people who didn’t know and doing things you don’t want to do. I hope as you’re so nice to others, you can be nicer to yourself. Respect yourself more and people will respect you. Stop this reliance bullshit. You deserve better. You are undervaluing yourself. If your friend do love you, they don’t mind if you’re a nutcrack, weirdo or some closet fetish whatever. I don’t know how I can get this across to you but I hope someday you will understand.
Sometimes I really admire people say no in my face. Respect. Okay i’m weird.
Just a couple of updates about recent plans. Jon and I got back together to playing music again. This time round, we’d decided to play in pubs to earn some pennies. Music jobs is by far the most satisfying job for me. More than anything. Doing what I love and get paid for is one of the best feeling for me. We also have some plans for the upcoming baybeats.
Two, I’m now officially a drum teacher. I teach drums! I still feel that I have a lot to learn but I have a lot to give back to the drum community as well. I hope I can produce a good student like myself. Teehee.
Three, I got a blogging job. I’ll give myself a month to settle and get my latest blog going.
Four, I’d made plans to travel with my bestie. Planning to go to bangkok in june and osaka in december. Hope I earn enough to buy myself a dslr too.
With plans I can move on! I decided to drop mocap. I’m not much of an animator after all. I think I wanna write, play music, paint and design in this life. Life is back on track again. Sometimes I feel that the trials that god gave me is a little harsh but I’d always somehow or another make it through. God indeed never gives us things that we can’t take. We should be faithful and hopeful.
I’m having a wisdom tooth now and it hurts so bad. At least not worse than the pain my heart is feeling. I’d watched midnight in paris. I felt deeply about this film and the introduction to a definition that cannot been found in the dictionary – Golden age thinking. Now I’d learnt about the golden age but this film really explored another side of it. It’s like mindfuck.(slang. just in case I lose my memory)
Nolstagia is denial. Painful denial. I’d been living in the past for too long. Unable to face my present. Unable to live up to my expectations. Tell me this is the life of a twenty one year old. I want to leave this country and embark on my journey. I want to see the world. I want to pen down my thoughts and photograph the beauty of it. I want to define all the feelings that I’m feeling. My obsession with philosophy. I’d always wonder how can people live like that? Don’t they want to find out the true purpose of their presence?
Okay. I think I truely belong in the category of golden age thinking like Gil except I yearned for a period much later. Like Rosseau. He was a modern man and people could not understand him. Okay I’m acting all weird. Sometimes I really hope a time traveller finds me. That explains my obsessions with robots, time machines, doctor who and the future.
I think I became more quiet as I grew up because of an understanding. I know people will never understand how I feel and I’m a world apart from the rest. That makes me draw a line from other people. Perhaps that’s why I set up a safety wall, people are unable to reach me. I don’t want to let anyone in.
I really think that arts is my path but this path leads to many other paths which confuses me. I like surprises.
I hope no one reads this or they will think that I’m mad. Madness.
New layout! That makes me feel like making another post!
I’m just so contradicting. I am an misanthrope. I don’t really like hanging out with people because they are all so judgemental. I’m so judgemental. I just feel that sometimes hanging out with people is a waste of time. These precious time can be used to chase after our dreams. Yet I like to have a group of mates that makes me feel like a family. To make me feel appreciated. It makes me feel like I have something to look forward to. The warmth people spread. Somtimes I feel like I have split personalities. I contradict myself all the time.
I like myself. I’m so talented. I can do all the shit in the world as long as I want to. I’m a confident person always ready to take up challenges but sometimes I just fall to the pit bottom. Telling myself no and have delusional voices telling me tht I can’t do it. Voices that tell me I’m look down upon and fully defeated me.
Lol. Whatever. I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me. Peace. That remins me that I have not been going to church for a long time.
This is a pretty forsaken blog but what if one day I realized that some people are hovering over this private space of mine? I’ll kill them. Not.
We are on a carousel. Round and round we go, ending up in the same spot. If your survival threatens me, I’ll wipe out.
There is just so much more to life. I can feel it. I’ll patiently wait for the arrival of the goodness. Meanwhile, I’m will try very hard to earn my bucks so I can move out of this horrible place. I will fly away to Boston. I don’t know why Boston. Or maybe I’ll move to Bath. Sounds like a quiet town. Or anywhere just to have own life. Do the things that I love.
My last paper was asian art history. I used to think art history is bullshit not so much now though I bs-ed in the examination. It is really about finding the voice within me. Forcing myself to take a stand and find out what I appreciate. My weird taste. Oh so ukiyo-e interesting. Did I mention I love twists? Doctor who got some really good twists that makes me feel funny on the inside. Hints are dropped everywhere and everything is fast-paced. You gotta be quick and witty to notice them. I love matt smith and karen gillian. Fantabulous actor and actress. Well done mate.
Despite all these mess, I feel at peace. My heart is at peace.
Good stuff that happened. The papers ended. My life begins. I got my ukulele back home today. It’s so lonely in the locker. I thought that I can play it in school when I’m stressed. Turned out that I didn’t really have much time to de-stress either.
Not to think about stuff I don’t want to. I have a good adventure watching doctor who. Obsession with all things british. It’s like this fleeting mind of mine, obsessed with a culture at different times in life. Things that are american, then moved on to korean, japanese, thai… Perhaps the feeling of being trapped and I can’t wait to get out there. Experience a different culture, meeting new people, creating works of art and music.
I do not understand. I do not understand a lot of people. I do not make the effort to understand people. Excuses like I’m a misanthrope. I do hope someone understands me but yet I do not want to be understood. The need to be unpredictable yet a slight hint of who I’m really am. Weirdo. That’s a beautiful word to describe. It seem sto me an insult but as I grow older, I begin to realise the power of the word. Being different is not about non confirmity. It’s really about an identity. We are who we are. Nothing can change that. I do not understand a lot of things. I do not understand why people are acting the way they are. I do not.
Enlighten me.
Blog at WordPress.com.
Theme: Esquire by Matthew Buchanan.
