I’d always joked about me having OCD. When I realized tht it is so real, I kinda freak out a little. I bet there are a dozen like myself out there.
New year day. I was lying down on the beach chair at 5am in the morning with my friend beside the pool. Gone are the days when I can talk freely to a person from the bottom of my heart. No secrets, no hiding, the complete real me. Now the feeling came back. A kind of love hate feeling. I always say that I need nobody. The truth is that I do need somebody to lend a listening ear when I feel like crap.
Before I die, I know that I have 3 true friends that always be there will shit happens. 2 I met 10 years ago and 1 in university. I realized I don’t need a lot of people, as long as there were someone there for me, it makes me touched. It makes me feel appreciated and I’m really thankful for it. This new year day, I pray for their safety and protection through life. I pray that they will rise to become successful people and we’ll always be there for each other.
Anyway, as I was lying down there. I thought that maybe I flied in my past life. It’s a dream that I hold vividly in my head. In that dream, I’m always excited about flying. Up in the air, controlling my direction and gazing down at magnificent views. Forest of trees and tall buildings, night views of an amazing town. I fly alone and I am happy whenever I’m in the air. Exhilarated about my flight and meeting new people each time I land. Life is exciting but I seem to be running away from something. Guys trying to catch me but I’d always seem to escape. I’m really curious what I’m running away from. I really really want to know. I just can’t explain all these that seem so real to me. Maybe when I die, I can see all these and I honestly don’t fear death. I just want to do something crazy and big before I die.
