I’m in love with her. She’s like fucking amazing live. <3

We had a family dispute the other day. It makes me laugh on the inside seeing how people getting so mad. I don’t know why. It reminds me of the scene in little miss sunshine when Dwayne smiled as he was lying down on the bed hearing his parents quarrel in the other room. I didn’t really understood what it meant at that point in time but now I do.

I hate people but I love watching them. They are so interesting from far. Till you get to know them.

1) Drums!

2)Painting

3)Film

4)Sound

5)Writing

6)Harry Potter

7)Comedy

8)Transcriptions

9)Food

10)Fitness

11)Doctor Who

12)Graffiti

13)Lyrics

Things that I am not interested but doing or done in school: stop motion, rigging, storyboarding, asian art history, western art history, mastering communication, 2d animation, 3d animation.

If I were in a school of my imagination, my schedule will go something like this:

I will love this university.

New year day. I was lying down on the beach chair at 5am in the morning with my friend beside the pool. Gone are the days when I can talk freely to a person from the bottom of my heart. No secrets, no hiding, the complete real me. Now the feeling came back. A kind of love hate feeling. I always say that I need nobody. The truth is that I do need somebody to lend a listening ear when I feel like crap.

Before I die, I know that I have 3 true friends that always be there will shit happens. 2 I met 10 years ago and 1 in university. I realized I don’t need a lot of people, as long as there were someone there for me, it makes me touched. It makes me feel appreciated and I’m really thankful for it. This new year day, I pray for their safety and protection through life. I pray that they will rise to become successful people and we’ll always be there for each other.

Anyway, as I was lying down there. I thought that maybe I flied in my past life. It’s a dream that I hold vividly in my head. In that dream, I’m always excited about flying. Up in the air, controlling my direction and gazing down at magnificent views. Forest of trees and tall buildings, night views of an amazing town. I fly alone and I am happy whenever I’m in the air. Exhilarated about my flight and meeting new people each time I land. Life is exciting but I seem to be running away from something. Guys trying to catch me but I’d always seem to escape. I’m really curious what I’m running away from. I really really want to know. I just can’t explain all these that seem so real to me. Maybe when I die, I can see all these and I honestly don’t fear death. I just want to do something crazy and big before I die.

Adele may be consdered an indie artist but in my opinion her fame equates her to a mainstream label. I love her music as I always feel a sense of connection with her lyrics, voice and tune. An amazing woman. I love this song. It just makes me feel like slitting my wrist and lying in a corner crying about my misfortune however little they may seem. Haha.

Not so much now. I do watch rallies and I do feel the rage for this year’s election. I start to care about politics. I guess when problems start to punch me in the face, I start to care. I really really hate how the country is run right now.

Transportation woes. – Lots of train disruptions in the recent years. Companies making a fortune out of the disruption? Shouldn’t they be ashame of causing inconvenience instead of of making opportunities out of everything. Bus drivers chose to take detours to avoid jams and got lost? (I appreciate the intention but if you can’t manage then don’t) I really pity the passengers who has a driver that don’t listen. Tuna packed cabins all the time regardless of peak or non peak hours. Now tell me why the increased transportation since they are able to stuff more people in same small space. Is this what transportation is in the first world country?

Rising cost of living – Over-promising and under-delivering. Prices are increasing why not paychecks?

Overpopulation. – This is a serious problem. Come on. Truth be told we really are small. You can’t possibly kept shipping people over here. The supply demand curve is seriously messed up. Don’t you notice the long queues everywhere? Shopping is a pain. The worst thing I’m feeling is that I feel like a minority living in my own country. I seriously want to see those data (so much for the transparency). How do you call a place home when you’re surrounded by strangers, hearing languages that you don’t even understand? Outcasts, aliens, culture shock in my “own” country.

Results – Over-competitiveness. Thousands of people competing for that few pathetic spots? You can count the number of universities with your fingers. You won’t need your toes for the next 20 years too. Education should be our priority. Places should be given to our people and funds to our people. That is what will make the youths stay.  Perhaps an analogy will be good. Inviting your neighbour’s kids over for lunch is short term. They will soon go away because they have a home.  Feed your own kids before you spent on others.

I don’t want to go on because I’m so pissed off. I will emigrate if I got the chance. Move away and start a new life. In any case, I will still be an alien.

Beauty is really skin deep because once all those makeup is removed, everyone look like crap like everyone else. Everything on this planet is bollocks and people only notice superficial stuff.

I like it though. Living in this world makes smile. Heck. I’ll just do all the shit I want since this world is so complicated already.

Saying yes to everything and pleasing everyone else around you is not really the way to be. Don’t get me wrong, I mean once in a while we do try to please our family and mates but I don’t we think should do it all the time. We should know what we want and respect ourselves. Give ourself a break and really do what we love and heck the rest. If your “friends” do love you, they wouldn’t let you take all these burden. They wouldn’t leave you in awkward situations and then gossip behind your back.

Giving everyone time and leaving none to yourself. Suffering for people who didn’t know and doing things you don’t want to do. I hope as you’re so nice to others, you can be nicer to yourself. Respect yourself more and people will respect you. Stop this reliance bullshit. You deserve better. You are undervaluing yourself. If your friend do love you, they don’t mind if you’re a nutcrack, weirdo or some closet fetish whatever. I don’t know how I can get this across to you but I hope someday you will understand.

Sometimes I really admire people say no in my face. Respect. Okay i’m weird.

Two, I’m now officially a drum teacher. I teach drums! I still feel that I have a lot to learn but I have a lot to give back to the drum community as well. I hope I can produce a good student like myself. Teehee.

Three, I got a blogging job. I’ll give myself a month to settle and get my latest blog going.

Four, I’d made plans to travel with my bestie. Planning to go to bangkok in june and osaka in december. Hope I earn enough to buy myself a dslr too.

With plans I can move on! I decided to drop mocap. I’m not much of an animator after all. I think I wanna write, play music, paint and design in this life. Life is back on track again. Sometimes I feel that the trials that god gave me is a little harsh but I’d always somehow or another make it through. God indeed never gives us things that we can’t take. We should be faithful and hopeful.